If all the world’s a stage, I’d like to be the playwright.
Romeo & Juliet:
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy diagnosis and refuse thy meds;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be without a tremor.
Hark, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is getting up to pee again.
To DBS or not to DBS? That is the question.
Whether it is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of on and off times
or to take arms against a sea of dyskinesia?
Death of a Salesman:
Willie Lowman’s name would change to Willie Slowman.
Lyric shift in the Frankie Avalon Beauty School scene:
Dopamine dropout, no normal movement for you.
The Wizard of Oz:
All three characters would want a new brain.
A Christmas Carol:
This would need the most rewriting. It would likely play out quite differently. I’d scrap Tiny Tim’s cane and put him up on stage with a service dog like Sir Thomas. Scrooge would be trying too hard to pet him to utter even one Bah Humbug.